A huge thanks to all the readers and contributors who helped make this tiny corner of the internet even slightly interesting during 2011. I trust and pray you have an exciting and fulfilling new year in 2012.
Everyone makes mistakes, and when it comes to my youth work I’ve made some clangers! Hopefully by reproducing them here, it may give you a bit of a laugh and help you to avoid doing the same thing.
Mistake #11: (Almost) Ruining Christmas
Each year our church hold a very short (45 mins) service on Christmas Day which involves a few carols, the kids each sharing about a gift they were given, and a quick presentation reminding people about the reason for our celebration: the birth of Jesus.
A few years back I was asked to do “the talk” for the Christmas Day service and prepared what I thought would be a fun and engaging few minutes. I planned to do the brilliant chocolate sprouts illustration followed up by a funny anecdote about Christmas. Turned out, it wasn’t that funny to some people…
The story I told was of a friend of mine who had accidentally put his foot in it at Christmas time. At a kid’s event, my friend had noticed a young lad who was not engaging with the current activity so went over to ask if he was ok. The boy quietly shared the burden he was carrying, that he knew that Father Christmas wasn’t real. Realising there was no use trying to persuade him otherwise, my friend gently said, “You’re right, he’s not real” before adding “It’s just like the Tooth Fairy”. At that moment, a look of horror swept over the child’s face as he cried out “Not the Tooth Fairy as well!”
Obviously, it’s a humorous and true story that I took great pleasure in telling that Christmas morning. Unfortunately it never occurred to me that in retelling that tale in front of numerous families with young children, that I would effectively be making the exact same mistake as my friend in the story and putting my foot right in it. Although I never explicitly stated that Santa wasn’t real, the implication from the story was that both he and the Tooth Fairy are fantasy figures – something that parents aren’t too keen to hear mentioned in front of their children on Christmas Day!
A couple of people were understandably very upset at the time and I was told that I had ruined Christmas. Thankfully, most people were fine about it and many, many people still lovingly remind me of it to this day – much to my embarrassment.
So what about you? Have YOU ever said something publicly that you later regretted? Have you ever told a child that Father Christmas isn’t real? What happened? Share with us in the comments!
Are you confused between your Outputs & Outcomes? What’s the difference between your Vision, Purpose, Aims and Mission?
Jargonbusters.org.uk is a new website designed at cutting through the confusing terms and definitions in the charitable and voluntary sector to enable organisations to be clearer in their language. It’s been put together by a group of funders, government departments, regulatory bodies and voluntary sector organisations who form the Jargonbuster Group.
Having checked out the site, it’s actually very useful. As the site explains:
Funders and support agencies use concepts and terms from the language of planning, project management and performance improvement in different ways. This lack of agreed definitions has led to widespread confusion about what particular terms mean and how to use them most appropriately
The Jargonbusters site is designed with three aims:
First, it will define some of the different terms charities and community groups, evaluators and funders use, tell you when you might hear them, and what they mean in different situations.
Secondly, it will bring out some of the ideas behind the jargon.
Thirdly, it will help funders be clearer about the words they use and use them more consistently.
So add it to your bookmarks and now there’s no excuse for using the wrong terms in your communications!
The book comes in two editions; for youth leaders, and for parents, and is accompanied by a comprehensive website that provides additional material and regular updates over at stickyfaith.org. The whole idea is based on six years of study by the US based Fuller Youth Institute who set up the College Transition Project, a longitudinal study that followed over 500 high school seniors during their first three years in college. As they state:
The goals of this research are to understand the dynamics of youth group graduates’ transition to college and to identify the relationships and best practices in youth ministries, churches, and families that can help set students on a trajectory of lifelong faith and service.
Despite being based on some rigorous academic research (you can read the research overview and criteria on the site), the books are very accessible with lots of stories and examples to help draw out the findings. They are also very honest and don’t shy away from asking hard questions such as ‘why do so many “Christian” young people end up walking away from their faith?’ While there are no easy answers here, the authors do suggest some key ingredients they have found that make a lasting impact on the young people they studied helping them to retain a ‘Sticky Faith’.
By “Sticky Faith” we mean a combination of characteristics, all of which exist in a dynamic tension…
- Faith that is both internalized and externalized: a faith that is part of a student’s inner thoughts and emotions, and is also externalized in choices and actions that reflect that faith commitment. These behaviors include regular attendance in a church/campus group, prayer and Bible reading, service to others, and lower participation in risk behaviors, in particular sex and alcohol (two behaviors we are studying specifically). In other words, Sticky Faith involves whole-person life integration, at least to some degree.
- Faith that is both personal and communal: a faith that celebrates God’s specific care for each person while always locating faith in the global and local community of the Church.
- Faith that is both mature and maturing: a faith that shows marks of spiritual maturity but is also in process of growth. We don’t assume a high school senior or college freshman (or a youth worker for that matter) will have a completely “mature” faith. We are all in process.
Encouragingly, the research confirms that it’s never too early or too late to start developing faith that continues to grow and lasts and gives a good theological/philosophical framework and some practical relationship and programming ideas that develop long-term faith in teenagers.
You many have heard of the Kids Company, a charity proving support for vulnerable children in inner city London. I was asked to post about their upcoming Christmas Party which you can hear about in the short video below.
Kids Company help over 17,000 vulnerable children and young people in and around London, and this year, as always, they are hosting a Christmas Day party for thousands of kids who might otherwise spend the holiday alone. On the day, dedicated volunteers will cook a feast for 3,500 kids at the party, and will create food packages for 4,000 others.
This is a huge task and they are dependant on raising money to make the event possible. As a result they’ve created a Facebook app that allows people to make small donations to the party in the form of virtual gifts, from party hats to Brussels sprouts to a star for the tree. Why not take a look and buy a gift for the party: www.facebook.com/kidscompany
As a result of the film, we’ve had loads of interest in the club. Many, many people have commented that they saw us on TV and four individuals have already come forward to volunteer at the club. Our local B&Q branch came along and donated an 8′ Christmas tree complete with decorations, we’ve had an article in the local paper and a feature being written for a magazine, and there’s now some bigger discussions occurring around how the club can develop in the future.
We couldn’t have bought this kind of publicity, but it’s been an exciting journey so far. Most importantly we hope it will enable us to continue supporting the brilliant children who are referred to the club, and allow us to help even more of them!
I meant to post about this last month, but due to the arrival of our new baby I never got round to it. Tony Taylor and friends over at In defence of youth work (IDYW) have published a book called ‘This Is Youth Work: Stories From Practice’ along with an accompanying DVD.
The book features 12 stories, nine from the point of view of youth workers and three from the young people’s point of view, all presented with a useful introduction with some context and analysis of youth work practice in our current political climate. IDYW hope that the book and DVD will provide a starting point for further debate and activity in support of democratic youth work.
Here is one of the stories from the book:
Pen and Paper Youth Work
Anne was fifteen. On this particular evening she looked subdued and withdrawn, making little contact with the other young people. Something was clearly affecting her but her shrug suggested that she did not want to talk. It was a dismissal of both Grace (the youth worker) and the topic.
During the evening Grace created an opportunity for sitting next to Anne. Rather than talking, she passed her a note asking if she was ok. Anne responded by writing a note back saying she was feeling down, things were not all well at home – that she was really struggling. She signed the note with a sad face . Through a series of small points of clarification in the notes that followed Anne, bit by bit, was able to reveal her struggles. Open questions were avoided or ignored by Anne who was too ‘sussed’ for that: she saw them as disrespectful, an insult to her intelligence. For Anne the problems were too big to bring out in one go.
Though it wasn’t emotionally and physically possible to do that, the small pieces of clarification that Grace asked for seemed to be respected and responded to. Grace used the clarifications to show she was interested, that she cared and – both as a youth worker but also as a parent herself – that maybe she even understood a little of what was happening to Anne. When it became clear that her relationship with her mother and father was strained, one of Grace’s responses was that she was a mother as well and that as a parent she didn’t always get it right.
As the exchanges of notes continued other worries came out – about the pressure to
have a boyfriend and how she felt about herself. All this took place without a spoken word between the two of them. At the end of the evening Grace wrote another note asking Anne how she was feeling. Her response was to draw a straight face an improvement on the sad one where she’d started.
No more was thought or said about this exchange. Though infrequently, Anne continued to visit the centre, then eventually stopped coming altogether and contact was lost.
A couple of years later Anne saw Grace in the town centre. She approached her smiling, asked how she was and about the youth centre. She was studying in College and enjoying the course. Anne asked whether Grace remembered their exchange of notes, to which Grace replied that of course she did. Anne thought for a moment and then, looking directly at Grace, said that on that evening she was feeling so low that she was thinking of self harming but that their ‘conversation’ had stopped her. She then said thank you, and ‘seeya’.