Two years ago our good friend Jose moved back to his native Portugal. At his leaving do, he was asked by various people when he was coming back. He replied, “When Jon and Kirsty have a baby”, knowing full well we weren’t planning on starting family for a while.

For about the last year, a young nine-year-old friend of ours has been asking when Kirsty and I are having kids. As a youth worker, I get asked this question a lot so it didn’t seem unusual. It was only recently when we finally announced that Kirsty IS pregnant that I fully understood the nature of his request. His immediate comment when he found we were having a baby was “That means Jose is coming back”! He equated our baby with the return of Jose!

In hindsight it makes a lot of sense. This boy looked up to Jose as a hero and followed him around so when Jose left for Portugal it was a big blow to him. I don’t know if Jose is planning on coming back but it certainly won’t be because we’re having a baby.

This whole situation has really made me realise the power of our words. One throwaway comment has kept a child hoping and hanging on for the last two years! Jesus teaches us
“Just say ‘yes’ and ‘no.’ When you manipulate words to get your own way, you go wrong.” (The Message)

I told the child’s mum why he was so keen on us having a baby and she has now explained to him that Jose is unlikely to come back. I know he’s disappointed. I only hope that I learn from this lesson and can be clear and honest in my own speech so that I neither mislead or confuse others. I hate letting people down.